Monday, November 24, 2008 – ladybugs… [Tbilisi, Georgia]

Today was my only chance to do some shopping for my family back home in Texas…just small gifts that I will give them for Christmas. Since my Dollar goes a lot further here with the exchange rate I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity! My host mom was with me the first part of the day, taking me to shops I’ve never seen before and helping me bargain for the best price. I have to say I’m very happy with all of my purchases and I even got myself a few things! In the last shop my host mom and I were in together she said she wanted to buy something for me but didn’t want it to be just anything. She wanted it to be symbolic, something that would have meaning for me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but as we were shopping together she was looking for something that had a shamrock on it but never found anything. So when we were in the last shop together she insisted that I find something for her to buy for me. I told her I appreciated her offer but it really wasn’t necessary, but as my eyes scanned the shop looking for a gift to take home to friends who are newly married, I saw a ladybug made from felt-like material. I knew this was the gift I wanted my host mom to buy me! This would definitely be symbolic for me, especially as I return home to the US. You see, almost a year ago my dear friend Chris Alwell gave me the DVD “Under the Tuscan Sun”. At the time I was at a sort of crossroads about a relationship with a guy, wanting things to progress faster than they were and getting frustrated that it wasn’t going anywhere. In the movie there is a story about a women who was digging around in the grass for hours trying to find a ladybug, getting frustrated that she couldn’t find one. She finally grew tired and fell asleep in the grass and when she woke up she was covered in ladybugs! She explained that once she gave up control and allowed things to happen naturally she got exactly what she wanted. So for me, ladybugs are a reminder to not worry or try to force things to happen. When I give up control and allow God to move in his timing then I will get exactly what I want, and probably in an abundance. I know that when I get back to the US I may struggle with wanting to jump back into my Manhattan life right away, wanting things to fall into place quickly…getting back into the swing of things at work, finding an apartment, getting into a normal routine, etc…but I have to realize that these things are going to take time. I just need to give up my urge to control every situation and allow it to happen naturally. Easier said than done I know! 🙂